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Q:Recently my friends have started dating and sleeping around, and I'm feeling pressure to do the same. I'm scared because I don't think I'm ready and I hear how the guys talk behind their back afterwards, it's always mean comments. I feel lost and am not sure if I can hold out much longer for fear of being made fun of or called a lesbian. Any ideas? By Anonymous
Jack's Answer:
If you're not ready, you're not ready. No need to feel scared. You will know when you're ready. You're not going to enjoy it anyway if you're not comfortable. I've learned over the years that your sex life is none of people's business. You can take the high road and keep people guessing by telling them nothing, or you can stoop down to their level and just tell the guys that your waiting until they last longer. Either way you don't let people pressure you to do anything. It's your life and you decide how you live it.
Jill's Answer:
This is a very common issue, you are definitely not alone. And many of these girls weren't ready either, but it ended up happening and takes a hit on their self esteem. That's where the pressure comes in, they want to make themselves feel better, because if everyone is doing it, they must be normal. It's ok to not be ready, especially when you know the repercussions your friends are suffering. Try expressing the lack of quality boys at your school, or crush on someone who is not a possible candidate to hook up with (an older senior who has a long term girlfriend, for example) and leave it at the fact that why would you mess around with people you aren't attracted to. If nothing else it should buy you some time to mature and figure out what you are looking for in a partner.
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Ask Jack and Jill.com question on Hookups:
Q: When you hang out with a girl for the first time, how long do I wait to call her for a second date? By John R.
Jack's Answer:
Depends on how the first meeting went. Maybe never. If you feel like you both had a great time then she is probably eager to hear from you. I would contact her within a day or two. Anything longer than that she will probably think you didn't have a good time with her. Do me a favor and don't text either. That is not classy. Be a man and call
Jill's Answer:
I think rules are idiotic. If you like the girl, and feel like talking to her call her. You obviously do since you are thinking about a second date, so I would definitely initiate some contact the next day or day after. Even if you just send her a text saying you had a nice time and are looking forward to seeing her again. Doesn't have to be a long drawn out conversation.
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